2019-Update: Part III [24-October-2019]

24-October-2019
Thursday

01:01am
0101

#84

for the first time ever in my life, I fainted (black out)
wow!

life and event as normal, but today, during the bus ride, I fainted!
maybe I should jot the occurrence before I forget!

in the RapidKL bus 250, I was standing there, in my usual spot, suddenly I had a stomachache, then I was like.. tahan *saying what the hell in my mind* then I just remember my head drop, thats the last thing I remember, before I regain consciousness.. I had no idea what happened when I lost consciousness.. but I think the guy behind me was lifting me, I opened my eyes, I stand back up, then the girl infront me hand out some sort of snack bar to me, in that while I was still blur and I have the sensation of wanna puke (like holding something back in throat but it wanna come out as you cough)

then they just asked me to have a seat.. the auntie there surrendered her seat and gave me.. so I sat.. a bunch of dialogue.. then a "wind oil".. then following events occurred as normal on an working weekday.. wow never thought I would faint, I've seen people faint before.. now me, I did not expect that, I did not see it coming.

somehow this faint  incident makes me think back my surgery back at 2014.. how the medical officer gave me the anesthesia before I black out for surgery.. the last sentence she said to me was "alright, you're gonna pass out, dont fight it, just relax"..
the last thing I remember this time was stomachache lol

I told my colleague most of it.. he said, since I didnt take the girl's snack bar, I actually rejected her lol, well people that know I fainted, some asked me to see a doctor, do a body check-up..
well Im not sure, I actually wanted to do that for a while, but didnt.. maybe soon-ish? Lol
well most likely sudden low blood pressure? or just unfortunate timing of bad body position that cuts off the oxygen supply lol.. I read that fainting is a survival mechanism where the body detects the oxygen level in blood is low and it shuts down the non-vital organs and direct resources to vital organs (yea its right, we can be not-conscious but still alive)
or its just "Postural Syncope" as I was standing.. but that's my usual day anyway.. since day one.. why faint now.. hmmmm

oh well

-------------------------------------------------------

today watched "Terminator: Dark Fate", personally I felt it more impact-ful than the previous two installment.. I wonder if this will be the last performance of Arnold as the terminator.. 

*btw I found out that the sensation that you wanna faint after standing up from a sitting/kneeling positionis called "Orthostatic Hypotension", yes I sometimes have that too


01:27am

Thursday

24-October-2019

2019-Update: Part II [12-October-2019]

12-October-2019
Saturday

01:31am
0131


#83

short sequel

so today, a peculiar thing happened when I was at Setapak Central.
as usual, I left office, ride the RapidKL bus,
drop at Setapak Central, went to Ah Cheng Laksa to eat dinner (Pan Mee actually)

went to F.O.S to buy the promo 3 for Rmxx, the peculiar thing happened after I left FOS and went to Bata store to buy a new pair of formal/office shoes (as my current one is in a shit condition and got a hole), I was looking and touching some shoes, this dude walks up to and say something, I couldn't hear it as I'm wearing my earbuds listening my music.. but I noticed, so I paused my music (at the same time this dude walks away), so I continued my looking-at-the-shoes.. then this dude comes back and asks me "do you have psycho issues?" *his hand doing the finger-going-round pointing his head gesture* something like that.. and I just said no.. he walks off again.. and I continue again.. then he comes back again and tells me "people like you wear like this to be seen, [something like pointing my clothes, my bag]", I forgot his first sentence but this is the last sentence and the point..
and I was like.. ?????
[this is my Friday looks]
so I just said "I'm just trying to buy a shoe, whats the problem? har?"
*raising my volume on the har part lol*
and the dude just walks off
*with his hand doing takmau/nothing gesture*

even though a simple thing, it made me think.. maybe a bit much
when's the last time I buy a formal/office shoe? I came out here again and then met with this..
after I went home, I finally thought of a better response that I should have said..
[as usual for quiet people like me, also the meme)]

*censored*

also he's wearing clothes, so maybe I should have ask him to take if off, if you think wearing clothes is to be seen, then you are doing it too

-------------------------------------------------------

okay, now for the update, 

work as usual, did some task here and there, then seat rearrangement

thought people might move yesterday (Friday) but nope, I think its the coming Monday..

entire Chequeworks team sit together in two row 

spent some time and effort for the liquipedia dota2 pages.. 200 days now.. 165 more to go.. [for the achievement xD]

got some movies that I said I maybe will watch in theater, but I didnt

not until that movie "47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)" with dickson and the gang.. 

after couple weeks

watched "Rambo: Last Blood (2019)" with dickson and his gang

watched "Joker (2019)" after work, controversy on whether it will cause violence :think:

colleague went to Langkawi for vacation, pan mee auntie [my lunch place] also tells me to take a vacation.. well my colleague goes to vacation with buddies.. who can I go with? alone would seem wasteful.. cause I would not know what to do and just chill at indoor [like how I joked to my colleague stay at hotel room and order McD or room service x)]

some stuff is in my head but I just couldn't take it off to here..

*btw Im coughing for two weeks now [I was sick prior]

02:15 am

Saturday 

12-October-2019

2019~Update [30-July-2019]

30-July-2019
Tuesday


01:58am
0158


#82

so here I am again;
making a sequel to the previous update

dont remember how did the recent New Year and Chinese New Year went, probably as usual.. (since everyday kinda the same for me)
attended the convocation for my bachelor-degree at February-2019, damn it was hot (the weather and stuff)..

I know Tan ZG intern at my condo (some place on lobby) , but wow he remained as permanent and moved to my condo too (though I still rarely see him lol).. Cheah DS went to Genting for employment after finishing intern at Finexus.. not sure whether he'll remain there for long or not (probably long, after all.. dont we all want a simple life? (minus the boring and stuffs))..


officially, its been more than one-year with Finexus Group, but technically I feel like it only started at like December-2018... though probation ended at October-2018.. some stuff I would not reveal the facts.. you have to ask me face-to-face or ask me harder (dont worry about me forgetting, dont we all usually remember the first/beginnings of everything? :D). I'll stay here (at Finexus) for a long time..
the project (Chequeworksv2) is now going live soon (first, BoA), coming soon - SMBC,
(of course plan/timeline may change) previously v1 served around a dozen of banks..

remember several teammates/colleagues, several didnt accept the offer for permanent, others did

I cant recall much of the past few months... as Im focused on the present.. sorta..

-------------------------------------------------------

entertainment-side, whats there to talk about? much.. but much of it is available publicly..
I think I probably watch the mainstream movie releases.. such as Captain Marvel, Avengers Endgame, Annabelle Comes Home.. didnt watch several like Glass, Alita BA .etc though I watched them on their home releases, quite good (Alita)

also I spent sometime in making what I call as 'selective movie information directory'  summary excel sheet lol
I dont know, I just prefer seeing them all clump together in one instead of going through them all one by one on the net

-------------------------------------------------------

registered as a liquipedia user on August-2018, finally got promoted automatically to editor on March-2019.. been doing liquipedia editing since then.. not bad.. I think I can take it.. for now..
well when I was younger, I thought liquipedia/wikipedia is big, turns out that the managing ones is just some people in a discord channel, working together with volunteer editors
(also made me discovered that a common typo is that general people type liquidpedia instead of liquipedia)

also doing this has improved my 'tahan' as taking a neutral stance between arguments instead of taking sides and stuff (unless its obvious and stuff)

playing Overwatch as usual, some rpg games like Subnautica, now expansion Below Zero

-------------------------------------------------------

I kinda fancy RGB peripherals on my desktop, bought the SonicGear evo11 and a soundbar, now Im looking to get a new computer screen (current one is 32" TV screen)

been spamming all sorts of music in these period of times, ranging from trance, electronic, vocal, metal rock, movie soundtracks.. (thought not those jazz stuffs)

-------------------------------------------------------

I would say that logically and physically Im still the same as before, alone and lonely..
some stuffs I still do agree
but mentally, emotionally, probably better than before, as I read my old post of those social media, I realize that when I feel anxious/emo/depress, I post a lot... compared to nowadays, Im so dead quiet (well since I dont feel the same as before),

the goods; I feel better, I dont complain about my life
the bads; I rarely post, I dont make up meaningful sentences

again as I read my old post/status, I realize its so meaningful (obviously now Im more mature logically thinking, as I didnt hang on to the past), is it human nature? that in our desperate moments, we prevail

-------------------------------------------------------

actually someone reminded me of this blog,
forgotten but not forsaken.

well, we'll see when I will be back to update again.. I might have missed something to write about.. maybe yes maybe no, I myself not sure
'its too late for me, but not too late for you' I used to relate myself with that quote a lot, on stuffs about girls lol

*btw, its my birthday, sing for me? just dont make it cringe-y

02:47am

Tuesday

30-July-2019

2018~Update [18-August-2018]

18 August 2018
Saturday


12:05am
1205


#81

So its been a while since I last posted.. 

so yeah, I took the resits of Adv. CN and Adv. DBM, andddd passed 

results released during my internship / industrial training, 

BAIT305C Industrial Training

at Finexus Sdn. Bhd.

forgot when was the results released, but I rmb being feeling yessssss, accomplished!!! no fail!! xD

so yeah

Internship in Finexus was a-ok, under supervisor TC , like to call him Kataro (informal of course)

training for fieldpool 3, develop screens for Chequeworks

(cheque truncation solution)

did monthly reports, emailed it to Ms. Pua

got hired as a permanent staff at July, now going through probation period.. 

few friends were working there, Hiew CF, Goh SL, Goh TH, Lee CK, too bad they all resigned (for reasons), and they all went their separate ways, all the best to them! 

after getting hired, was transferred to another project, 3D Secure 2.0 

under Soo, 

(same as existing which was a security protocol for certain transactions, except this time adding more data for security purposes)

-------------------------------------------------------

I would like to think that if someone were mentally weak or suicidal, that person would have done so, if that person went through what I went through in 2014, the physical pain, the mental damage, the feeling of sadness, hopelessness, emo 

before that, I always think 2011 was the worst year of my life, due to that disease, 

after 2014 and recovery, I always think 2014 was the worst year of my life.. 

though it did taught me a lot of stuffs, kinda opened up my eyes, make me more mature.. 

nowadays, sometimes I feel like I'm "dead inside"...

I dont know

-------------------------------------------------------

of course, hoped I can pass the industrial training , and can continue to work (need money to survive)

hope the convocation is in Feb 2019, so can settled it asap 

12:24am

Saturday

18 August 2018

this is a title [13 October 2017]

13 October 2017
Friday


7:56pm         1956


#80


yeap, I just read my previous post, and I realized I incidental-ly said it, she passed.. on the next day

duration of this gap is pretty darn long.. what to cover?
hmmmm....

enrolled in TAR UC (kl campus) to continue my bachelor degree in May 2016, still rmb, almost missed out due to things officer said, luckily my doubt is powerful xD

due to me having my diploma there, I can straight advance to year 2

first semester - RSD2 G2 201605
BACS2042 Research Methods
BACS2053 Object-Oriented Analysis and Design
BAIT2113 Web Application Development
BAIT2203 Human Computer Interaction
MPU-3113 Hubungan Etnik

went for a hike, first time in years.. ended up pokai.. that was probably July 2016

had some hiccup in assignment for wad..
shot a video for HE course assignment.. that was fun

had my convo for my Diploma.. I made it
(probably I was motivated to all-in due to her passing.. maybe)

had my emo moments, depressing moments? usually around September or later in the year..
surprisingly I didnt had any such moments in 2017.. its good

went to genting after the first semester, probably alone lol but met ah piang up there
and I had a nephew.. wow

second semester - RSD2 G2 201609
BACS2063 Data Structures and Algorithms
BACS2163 Software Engineering
BAIT2073 Mobile Application Development
BAIT2164 Computer Networks
BAIT3343 Agile Software Development
MPU-3213 Bahasa Kebangsaan A
MPU-34R2 Weiqi/Go

yea, seeing my Instagram post from those times, sure I was going through some emo/depressing moments lol
it just came as sudden.. no idea why

elective chose the Mobile.. other choice was accounting

had to take BK A due to my BM was not-credit in SPM, had studied BM again in my diploma, that too bad that was different, and now was different, so I had to 'retake' the sub

took Weiqi/Go for my bachelor co-cu course..
not bad.. fun

---------------

I never had any suicidal thoughts... maybe when I was like 10 years younger..
but I definitely have none now... at most I'll go sad, emo
if I ever 'suicide', its a murder made to look like an accident/suicide (or something else), or an actual real accident

--------------

new year 2017

Happy Chinese New Year!

had my 3rd meeting with Prof. Dr. V post-surgery, good images, all good
thanks Dr. V

third semester - RSD2 G2 201703
BAIT1083 Visual Programming
BAIT2033 Digital Multimedia
BAIT3153 Software Project Management

elective chose the Digital, other choice were Music, and Computer Security thingy

did a pokemon assignment for the DM lol

Y3S1 - RSD3 G3 (due to a CITC thingy, had to rename it to G3, but same guys) 201705
BACS3033 Social and Professional Issues
BACS3183 Advance Database Management
BACS3404 Project I
BAIT3094 Advance Computer Networks
BAIT3273 Cloud Computing
MPU-3232 Entrepreneurship

elective chose the Adv DB and CC, other choice was Integrative thingy (PHP programming)

participated in a run, TARCian Run 2017.. first run in 5-6 years, lucky I didn't faint xD and made it

welp.. no shame to admit, but I've failed Adv DB and Adv CN..
(kinda broke my 'no-fail virgin' for my bachelor)
hope to resit and pass it the next semester..

Y3S2 - RSD3 G3 201709
BACS2103 Software Quality Assurance and Testing
BACS3413 Project II
BHEL2023 English for the Profession
BNEL2022 Critical Thinking
MPU-3123 Tamadun Islam dan Asia
MPU-3322 Contemporary Malaysian Issues

elective chose the SQA, other choices were IoT, NS

session 201709.. but actual start date is october 16
same goes for last year, 201609 but start is october

will it make me feel better (for exam) as 5 of them are 100% CW
means I only had 1 sub for final exam (plus the other 2 fail I currently have, so 1+2)

Y3S3 - Industrial Training
my internship is coming soon.. (February 2018, after CNY, till August 2018)
interviewed at one company, Finexus
probably gonna end up at Finexus
hope I can graduate in time..
mom's gonna retire soon..

for a while there, afk
looking forward to see what will be unveiled at this year Blizzcon 2017

yeap, until next time...



8:47pm       2047

Friday
13 October 2017

welp [19 March 2016, Saturday]

19 March 2016
Saturday


12:49am           0049


#79



lately expressing alot of feelings and stuffs on my WeChat, lol
whatever
whatever you people think about me,
I don't care, but
but but
I care for what my crush think about me [if I have one]

I didn't drew first blood...
I tried to reach out, you shut me down...

been watching John Wick (2014) lately
gangster, car, dog, revenge
nice film (for me)
love the soundtrack ~

been listening to Adam Levine - Lost Stars [soundtrack of the movie Begin Again 2013]
welp, once I find a song I like, I listen to it like.. 3000 times or until I cant stand it
:D (neh...... not really)

next week gonna watch BvS
oh yeah

--------------------
popo (mom's mom)
some time soon...
---------------------
life.......


12:56am          1256

Saturday
19 March 2016

nothing [15 February 2016]

15 February 2016
Monday

2:08pm        1408

#78

so what has happened?

there's New Year
there's Chinese New Year (Lunar Festival 2016)

lemme try and recall

I had an exam in January 2016
for Calculus and Algebra and Discrete Mathematical Structures I
I had full confidence in sitting the exam (and during)
I did a lot of practice, did a lot of past year questions
but I didn't overconfidence as I still practice doing past year questions
I did it till I had the correct answer (without even checking the answer sheet till the end)

before that there's New Year
what I did during New Year?
nothing, yep
nothing
just hear people scream and yell on the balcony

nothing big on Chinese New Year as well,
just normal day for me (plus the celebration)
or maybe I'm just lonely (as usual)
I'm trying not to feel emo (as I'm off the Nootropil pills)
for clarification,
those pills enhance the connection in my brain and improve mood and stuffs
(not entirely taking it for fun, those are not cheap anyway)

comes to Valentine's Day
nothing big, as I don't have a Valentine ~ lol
blabla

watched Deadpool 2016 and The Mermaid 2016
both very good films
lots of humor and meaningful story
good to see live-action Deadpool, knowing it's been in development hell for years
Ryan Reynolds definitely doesn't disappoint

The Mermaid, what can I say
it's director is Stephen Chow
(both the main actress very leng :p )

so results of Jan 2016 exam released,
I've checked it, both subs that I sit for passed,
(I kinda expected it)
AAMS1623 Calculus and Algebra get C+
AAMS3683 Discrete Mathematical Structures I get B
total CGPA 2.58
only left 1 outstanding sub (AAMS1613 Pre-Caculus) and I'm good to go
gonna sit the March/April 2016 exam
then in schedule for May 2016 intake for bachelor to pursue my degree
*I haven't pass the PreC already 2.58, the qualifying test is for cgpa 2.49 and lower
so I don't need to take it

I'm glad and happy that its finally happening for real
instead of dream collapsing and stuffs
like I said,
academic 2014/2015 is recovering period for me (after the brain surgery)
academic 2015/2016, first half getting me ready, second half I'm finally good to go back to study
again I'm gonna get back to class starting academic 2016/2017
blablabla good luck people

*I'm simultaneously typing this blog and playing Hearthstone

2:32pm     1432

Monday
15 February 2016